It flows. It is inhibited, uncontrived, natural, innocent, and spontaneous. And while discernment is needed in the selection of a partner, it need not prohibit you from loving everyone.
Trust and respect have been so long lost that you have spend more time testing on another, making each other prove yourselves, finding reasons to doubt each other, and vying for control than you do creating and enjoying your love relationships. And these things you call love relationships are often little more than addictive pain patterns being acted out. Love does not need to possess, control, degrade, withhold, prove anything, distrust, or conquer. Love simply loves. It flows. It is inhibited, uncontrived, natural, innocent, and spontaneous. And while discernment is needed in the selection of a partner, it need not prohibit you from loving everyone. Did you know that humans are terrified of feeling the totality of unconditional love? You have been taught to restrain yourselves lest you make fools of yourselves. You have been taught that it is impossible to love fully without hurting if the other person does not return your love and promise to stay forever with you. Without a 100% guarantee that you will not “lose”, you hold back – a little or a lot. It does not really matter how much. The point is that the flow of love has been dammed and therefore controlled.
What if love were only possible by forfeiting all guarantees? What if love could only exist in the presence of surrender? What if there were no such thing as loss, only change? What if you had to let go before the other person did without knowing whether he or she would ever let go or not? You would risk disappointment; but that is all. If you have healthy self-esteem and self-love, the person you love cannot devastate or humiliate you. He or she cannot make you feel unworthy; only you can!
The object of love is not to win persons over, break through their barriers, make them need or deserve you, or make sure you don’t lose. The object of love is to love, to cherish, to honor, to adore, to respect, to never harm, to appreciate and never depreciate another. You can even love without objectification. Have you ever awakened on a overcast day with no one around and simply felt love for no apparent reason? You were not thinking of anyone, focusing on self-love, or experiencing the beauty of nature. Everything around was quiet and maybe even boring or drab by normal standards. And yet you felt love instead of boredom or drabness. This is the nature of your true being, your soul, your spirit.
To experience love for no apparent reason is a great sign that you are nearing completion of your trials and karmic pain. It is the way home to your true self. In the meantime, allowing yourself to objectify love is a step in the right direction. To fill your life with friends and/or a partner who naturally inspire you to love is a wonderful thing. To surround yourself with sacred object of beauty, to live in a place you enjoy , to be in nature regularly, to do what you really like to do, area all important ingredients in life that can help you become a more loving person. To be in relationships with people with whom you do not resonate in order to try and learn to love them is not the quickest way to work out your karma. It may show you your patterns, at best. But to remain in a relationship that is all struggle and resistance can harm both you and your partner.
Everyone, and all of creation, deserves to be loved and adored. If you are with someone whom you cannot love and adore with all your heart, it will serve you both more to separate than to remain together. I am not speaking of a strong, loving relationship that temporarily goes through a rough period. I am speaking of relationships in which one or both of the people involved are in resistance and unhappiness more often than not – once the honeymoon phase is over. You see, when the honeymoon phase ends, relationships are intended to deepen. The honeymoon maybe be fun and inspirational, but it does not contain the depth that long term loving, supportive relationships do.
When the love, trust, and surrender between two people in love are strong, either or both partners can go through difficult times of emotional healing, job stress, or problems with friends and other family members without affecting the bond in the relationship. If you are in a relationship with someone you love and about whom you deeply care, to support them in the rough times as well as the easy times will be natural and full filling. If you are, however, in a relationship chiefly because the other makes you feel good about yourself, fulfills your sexual fantasies, and makes life better for you, then when your partner is experiencing pain or difficulty you will feel abandoned, neglected, and unhappy and you will probably blame your partner for it. In order for a relationship to have any change of bringing about true intimacy and sustainable love, you must deeply care about your partner and his or her life, feelings, and well-being, and be moved to want to give freely and lovingly to your partner. Then when the rougher times come, they need not affect the bond between the two of you. Instead, the challenges will serve to deepen trust, loyalty, caring and intimacy between you.
This type of relationship foundation is imperative in order to have the relationship augment your spiritual path and that of your partner, and to achieve the type of sexual union that brings about healing and awakening of your soul. The essential nature of the unrestrained soul is tantra, which leads to being in a constant orgasmic state in your whole body. In This state, energy blocks are dissolved, emotions released to flow naturally, and spiritual experience of love and oneness is the norm. And it is what you and Earth most desperately need at this time. It is also what you truly long for and fear. Why fear? Because it means taking risks, relinquishing ego control, and feeling your most guarded buried emotions. You cannot sustain feeling depths of love without feeling all of your other emotions as well. Have you not noticed that when you have a very high spiritual experience, or loving that is blending and sharing with another, that it is often followed by feeling of less pleasant emotions or negative thoughts? This is because any time you raise your frequency beyond what it was previously, anything in you that is incapable of maintaining that higher frequency is stimulated to let go. For instance, you and your lover have an experience during love making in which you both let go and feel if you become one beating heart. The love is just incredible – beyond what you ever have experienced before. For hours you are radiant together, overflowing in love and adoration, gratitude and bliss. Then one or the other of you begins to feel fear or irritation. The thoughts are unleashed: “if I trust this person too much I’ll end up getting hurt just like I always have,” or “Oh my God, I could be too depended on this. I should just leave while I still can, and be alone. I have to find it all within,” or “Relationships and spirituality cannot coexist without one or the other suffering or being given up.” You start to suspect the person, who is sitting there lovingly smiling at you, of having ulterior motives and trying to control you. You label it codependent and run for your life, narrowly escaping that one. Whew!
The worst thing is you believe the negative voices and interpret the painful emotions as a sign that something is wrong. The truth is: You are experiencing the normal process of evolution. You are being given an opportunity to eliminate that which no longer serves your awakening and growth. If you identify with it when it comes up for release, you miss a great opportunity and bury yourself even deeper in illusions of separation and the need to hold on to distrust and control. So If anyone loves you “too much” he or she becomes automatically suspect and worthy of your resistance. It is time now to let go of all of these self-defeating agendas and to allow love to flow in your life again. How? By being very honest with yourself, examining your repetitive patterns, and opening to full sexual potency and the resultant healing of your soul.
(With great love and devotion)
Image Credit: Android Jones
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